black mark against somebody
marked man
not up to the mark
on your marks, get set, go
wide of the mark
The Fast Food Movement, an organisation of some five people based in Milan and devoted to eating as quickly as possible, was holding an extraordinary meeting.
The subject of the meeting was the behaviour of Paolo Fettuccine.
'Paolo Fettuccine,' said the President of the FFM in sonorous tones, while texting on his mobile, 'you are charged with eating breakfast slowly, supping your coffee and generally. How do you plead?'
'Not guilty!' declared Paolo while tapping furiously on the keys of his laptop. All five members of the FFM were busy interfacing with technology while taking part in the meeting.
Paolo had had a his name since he had been spotted cutting up small portions of his grilled panino by two other members of the FFM.
'It was too hot to eat,' Paolo added. 'You guys are so wrong about this. Really, you're totally....'
'Listen, we don't have time for a big speech,' interrupted the President. 'As you know, innocence is determined through a trial by ordeal. Before you are two quarter-pounder burgers, two extra-large fries and a giant cup of cola. You have 30 seconds to eat the lot. Do you understand?'
Paolo shrugged nonchalantly, but inside he was petrified. He had been doubting his allegiance to the FFM for weeks, ever since he discovered he had an ulcer. He couldn't give up though - he would never become slow!
'I understand, yes.'
The President raised his hand. 'Ok,!'
Paolo immediately started stuffing the food into his mouth, biting the burgers in half before swallowing the pieces whole. The chips quickly followed, leaving only the cola to wash it all down.
'...three, ...two, one! Time up!' shouted the President. 'Congratulations Paolo - you have survived the trial by ordeal. You may consider yourself no longer a. Bravo!'
Paolo winced. His ulcer was not happy but at least he, Paolo Fettuccine, could hold his head up high: he was fast again!
No comments:
Post a Comment